Monday, April 16, 2012

Breaking fallow ground

I don’t even really know how to start this post.  I have been challenged this weekend by what I can only call a consistent message.  Have you ever had those times when you perceive almost everything you hear as a consistent message including the secular?  As many know and will attest to I struggle with writing; songwriting and literary.  When something stirs me, I write; when not stirred I go about life as normal.  But I struggle with consistency and discipline when it comes to this craft. 

I attended a Christian writer’s group on Saturday.  A wonderful time of meeting with others who have a penchant toward writing.  The lesson for the day was on character development, which started with a review of personality types.  Oh was I conflicted when trying to “nail down” what my personality type was.  The teacher spoke about what comes naturally to you as being the litmus test for your personality.  I shared a piece of my writing, which was well received as evidenced by comments from others.  Move to Sunday service.  At one point in the sermon the pastor told a story of a man who went to buy property.  The realtor told him the house on the property needed work, but it would make a good home.  To which the man seeking to buy the property said he was not interested in the house, but the site (my interpretation…the land.)  The pastor then went on to relate how God does not want the house, but the site, which I interpreted as God does not want what I have built, but me.  Move to Sunday afternoon, I happened to turn on a movie just in time to hear the father tell the daughter “you’re the one who’s the writer, you need to write.”  I shut the TV down and booted up my computer!

I have never been a risk taker, not given to riding roller coasters, not an “adrenaline junky” by any stretch of the imagination, however the dreams I dream of my future involve stretching beyond my comfort zone and engaging in activities I consider “risky.”  No, I’m not going sky diving, not quitting my day job, not going off the deep end somewhere; I find those activities a bit ignorant for me.  My definition of risky involves accepting who I am, who God made me to be; not whom others or I think I should be. 

Being able to admit I am a creative writer is very hard for me to do.  I am discovering however it is hard to do what you are called to do when you don’t admit it.  When you are called to do a task, you need to commit to it, practice it, work at it, be disciplined; I am not naturally inclined that way.  But as evidenced by the greater number of posts to this blog I am starting to work at it more.  My dream for the future would be to sit on the porch of my home overlooking the ocean (Lubec in the summer, some where in the Caribbean in the winter) with a laptop or guitar and beverage of choice engaging in creative writing activities.  The older I get, the stronger this dream calls.

I called this post “breaking up fallow ground” because just as a farmer takes a plow to the earth in the spring, so God has once again taken HIS plow to my field, disrupting my dormancy, preparing the ground to receive seed and produce fruit for HIS kingdom.  One other thought in this vein.  Any profitable farmer will tell you it is important to let a field lay dormant for a period of time and also rotate the crops.  I recognize the field that God is currently plowing is having a different seed sown into it and the fruit will be better and stronger.

I leave you with a similar challenge, are you who you were made to be or are you trying to be some one else?  Some one you feel is better than who you are?  As for the house and the site, God is not interested in the house I have built HE just wants the property.

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