Deserving

I came to the conclusion many years ago there is no such thing as a mistake when it comes to humans.  Humans make mistakes, plenty of them, but when it comes to a human being, no being is a mistake.  Regardless of how inauspicious our creation and beginning in this world, no one has been or ever will be a mistake.

Family Genealogy is one of my favorite past times.  I love listening to my mother tell of her life, I enjoy looking at old pictures from my grandmother’s scrapbook.  I have researched back many generations on both my mother and father’s sides.  When I look at my “pedigree” chart, my uniqueness in the universe is confirmed.  There is only one of me (many are happy about that,) and there will ever only be one of me.  Decisions were made over the past hundreds and thousands of years, which led to the specific moment in time I was conceived.  I would not have been me if any one of the previous combinations changed.

The “what ifs” come to play in this picture; what if my grandfather Scott did not go to Worcester, did not take the job at the Press Steel, never met my grandmother?  What if my great, great grandfather was not hurt in the war in Austria, and did not come to America with his family for treatment?  What if my great, great, great grandfather (father’s side) stayed in London, England, never traveled to New York; never met his wife from County Cork, Ireland, who also traveled to New York?  You can see how a person’s uniqueness can unravel with the change of one decision.

There are so many other life-altering decisions this applies to, but this is not what my focus is.  The title of this post is “deserving.”  I am not trying to build a case of me being “deserving” of anything special, but rather I wish to assert all are deserving of respect and honor, regardless of status in life, due simply to being the only one of their kind.  Each person has a part to play in history, a part, which cannot be played by another.  Each person deserves a smile, a glance, encouragement and support, a thank you or you’re welcome, a hello, just because.  I like to acknowledge birthdays by telling people how much I appreciate the fact they were born.  By their very existence, my world and in many cases I have been changed by who they are.

As I celebrate another year of life, I can only hope I make a positive difference in other’s lives.  I also wish to “tip my hat” in thanks to my ancestors, who made some “right” decisions about who to have children with.

Commitment - 7/17/11

I read this last night when digging around in my archives, notice the date.  I decided this was pretty appropriate to post now since this encompasses my goals for 2012. Hope you enjoy!

Commitment:

I feel the need to write again if for no other reason than to chastise myself for a lack of commitment.  For my entire life (so it seems) I have had a vision for what I would like to do.  I have been drawn to be creative in writing music and in writing short stories or blogs as they are called now.  I have sought and desired to live a life that was consumed with the creative arts, but in this process have had to “make a living.”  There are plenty of people out there who pursue their passions while still making a living and I have come to the conclusion (many years ago) that what I lack, what makes the difference between them and me is commitment.  I am plagued with two deadly traits, one is perfectionism, which often stops me before I even start and the second is “if it don’t come easy I give up.” 

Sacrifice would be another word that would come to mind while pondering this subject.  People who are driven in a certain direction often sacrifice their own personal immediate gratification for a greater satisfaction in the future.  This concept speaks to me of the Christian life, sacrificing immediate gratification for the greater satisfaction in the future that which is just out of sight of our current situation. 

In Philippians, Paul tells the church to press toward the goal as a runner in a race.  Athletes make a commitment to their sport.  They train their bodies and minds in preparation for the race.  They run daily, they practice, they sacrifice, they make a commitment to a future glory, and take pleasure in the work they do now.  This is where I fall short, I do not work daily at my passion, I do not sacrifice for it; I don’t break a sweat over it that is not good.  I am disgusted with my lack of drive and false thought that it’s okay to do something when the mood strikes.  I know that in order for me to ultimately do what I want to do with my life; I need to make some commitments, which means sacrifice of my immediate comfort.

I have fought against discipline for years, not the punitive meaning of discipline for that comes regardless, but again the discipline of daily routine and practice of things that don’t come easy.  I need to be “up and doing” as Longfellow writes in “A Psalm of Life” “act in the Living present, Heart within, and God o’erhead.”

As I prepare for an upcoming concert, I need to train as an athlete.  I need to commitment myself to that preparation and to also focus on the other creative areas of my life.  It is time for me to make some sacrifices and work, train and practice my art.